Are You a Sex Maniac?

By Johnny Juan

Is it your fantasy to have sex with hundreds, if not thousands of people? If sexually transmitted disease were non-existent would you be out in the streets like a rabid dog?

Now, I'm not talking about wearing a hat stamped 'Writer' then strolling into a bar, expecting hoards of the opposite sex to line up. A friend has tried this. It doesn't work. What I'm talking about is the actual act of writing.

I've come to a realization that when you are sitting alone and moving your mind across the keys, what you are actually doing is making love with future readers. In other words, having "time travel sex" so to speak.

Firstly, we're starting out with the fact that both parties are coming to the table with the act in mind. In other words, your readers want to have sex. They've picked up your book/script/manuscript with an expectation to be enthralled. In other words, a horny blind date.

Sex has a beginning, middle and end. So does a story. We have Foreplay, the actual Act, the Climax and the Ending.

With foreplay of the story we have an introduction. We get to feel each other out. There is an expectation here. Your partner is ready to jump in between the sheets so if you hold back too long, interest will wane and you'll lose them. Assume all readers are impatient and there is a Don Juan around the corner just waiting to steal your date. With this in mind we must get to the inciting incident as soon as possible. The act that ignites the flame. This will set the tone for the whole experience. If boring, it is very, very tough to raise the level of excitement later on. This could be anything from proposing marriage to buying a six pack of beer.

The Actual Act. Now, depending on your experience, whatever has filled your mind is most likely what you do not want here. Imagine you are the most exciting, romantic, intuitive sex God/Goddess. You are to take your reader on a rollercoaster ride they will never forget. Your goal is to make it so they will not walk the same. Ups, Downs, Fast, Slow, Surprises, Build, Hold Back, Build, More Surprises, Build, Slow, Fast, Faster, Even Faster then...

The Climax and Ending are, well, self explanatory. The best, are simply put, a wanting surprise. Surprise your partner with a mind-blowing climax and you'll have them for life.

'whew'